Processing my year abroad

So I decided I would try to process this whole Sevilla thing. Finally, right?

I arrived in Spain in the beginning of September, with an idea in mind of what to expect. After all, I had spent three weeks in Spain a few years back with my family and I had studied abroad in Italy before. Comprehension was not a problem at all, and I felt fairly comfortable with my Spanish. I was used to being away from home for extended periods of time, and I was actually in Spain less time than I would have had I been at Mt. Holyoke. I was confident that this was going to be an easy experience.

Grace and I arrived in Madrid and conquered the city. I remembered everything and got us around the first few days with little problem. Around September 9th we arrived in Sevilla for our orientation. That went well and I made friends quickly. We didn’t know what was in store for us, but we knew we had to stick it out together if we wanted to make it through. We began to plan trips and realized our budgets weren’t as large as we had hoped. Oh well, I guess that extra trip to Segovia wasn’t going to happen, but that was okay because we were in Sevilla, having fun, and that was all that mattered.

My host señora seemed nice. After the first week or two I stopped using my dictionary for common words and only pulled it out when I was in desperate need. Our intensive session began, and I quickly saw that it was the heat, not the class, that was intense. We went out at night (at 11pm – early for the Spaniards) and slept our siesta during the day. I was well adjusted. Or so I thought…

About six or seven weeks into the program I began to fall apart. Deep down I knew the reason, but I didn’t want to admit it. I was trying to detach from Sevilla before I became too attached to it. Too many times I have lost friends to timelines, and I figured that if I didn’t establish a real bond to the city that I would maybe make it out without any of the pain this time. The weather was getting colder and I was beginning to realize that only a small number of my friends would be there when I returned for the spring semester. I missed Mt. Holyoke and my friends there. I even missed the academic load, and was feeling useless in Sevilla with barely any academic work in comparison to Mt. Holyoke. What I didn’t realize is that I was doing a hell of a lot of work, just not academic. I was trying to survive in a foreign country, where I couldn’t talk to my family every day, nor could I ever speak with my friends from the States. There wasn’t a 24 hour convenient store, nor was there a Target, and they didn’t have sour cream. The Mexican food was the worst attempt ever and I was going crazy hearing so many racist and sexist remarks on a day to day basis. I convinced myself that I didn’t like Spain, and found the culture differences to be my scapegoat.

Meanwhile I was enjoying all of my classes, and connecting with my professors. I was learning immense amounts, despite the fact that I wasn’t doing as much writing as I would have had I been at Mt. Holyoke. I was reading book and book after book, and for once enjoying poetry. I was watching Spanish films almost every week and learning about intercultural communication. I was in a class with a professor that I really found to be extraordinary, and I felt that we would become close.

I went home for Christmas, and decided to wait for as long as I could to go back to Spain. When I returned to Sevilla on February 7th, I was the last person in my program to arrive – out of about 500 students. Ha! That will show them! Clearly this was not the right choice for me. But as the semester began and the all-year students really bonded, I started to feel like maybe this was the right choice. I was surrounded by amazing friends, and I had the best roommate I could ever ask for. On top of that, she was from California! It was surely meant to be. I decided that I better not waste the semester bumming around and hating Sevilla, so instead I dove back into it. Maybe this would be a better survival strategy.

A friend and I started taking Sevillanas classes, and although we didn’t keep with it the whole semester, it really helped me to understand the dance and I learned the basics of the first part. We started going to a flamenco bar in Triana at night where all the locals hang out; I fell in love. It was amazing and I could stand there in one place in the smoky, tight-squeezed room for hours and just watch them. We also tried to spend some time walking around every weekend to better appreciate the city. We went to a few museums, spent time sitting by the river Guadalquivir, and peeking into churches. I traveled to different parts of Spain and was getting a good feel for the country. It was April before I knew it and Semana Santa was in full blow. I went with some friends to watch the pasos for ten hours straight, and then hopped on a plane to Italy for five days. I ended up getting really sick, but it was well worth it. I loved Semana Santa! While many people felt overwhelmed by so much religion, I found it inspiring. Seeing the Virgins being carried between the streets was amazing; the devotion of the people was clear.

While all this was happening, my friends still thought I hated Sevilla and my life there, when secretly I was thoroughly enjoying it. My professor Magdalena and I were becoming fast friends. We’ve gone through a lot of the same stuff and so we could easily relate to one another. I began to walk home with her every day after class, and a couple of days a week we had lunch together. Soon enough we were planning out our week long trip to Zahara during Feria. It ended up being everything I could have asked for and more. It was such a special time of bonding and soul-sharing. I began to feel at peace with Spain. Maybe it was being in a pueblo far from Sevilla, or being by the ocean, or being with someone who actually cares for you and not just a señora who is paid to feed you crappy sandwiches. It was that week when I realized that I really did love Spain, and that I should have expressed it earlier.

Although my house overlooked the Feria, I decided to skip out on most of it. I had watched them set it up for months and looked forward to it, and yet I ended up only spending a few hours at it. I didn’t dance, nor did I go into a caseta. Sometimes when I think about it I regret not having participated more in such an important week for Sevilla, but I know I will go back one year for Feria, and maybe this time I will buy a traje de gitana and learn las sevillanas completely before I go.

And I never made it to Portugal or Morocco even though they were only a few hours away. And la Iglesia de la Macarena was closed when I tried to go. And I only went to el Museo de Bellas Artes once – for twenty minutes for my Intensive Session class – even though I love the art in it. And I only went to the Alcazar the week before I left. And I didn’t do a lot of other things that I had hoped to do.

But I did a lot of things I hadn’t expected to do. I made friends with people from all over the United States. I learned to like poetry. I found a new favorite book, and read it eight times. I was told I write better than some Spaniards. I learned more than I could have ever imagined about myself and I pushed my boundaries completely. And most important, I found a new mentor who ended up becoming one of my best friends.

So now as I sit here listening to the soothing, flamenco-fusion voice of Alba Molina singing softly, “caminando por la calle, yo te vi” and realize that while it’s truly been one hell of a ride, Sevilla is part of me now, and that is something that no one can take away. No one will ever be able to completely understand this feeling, even those who went through it with me. “Te quiero mucho y pido sin cesar que no me dejes ya que te encontré. Pues voy a amarte siempre, voy a amarte.”

NO8DO

Sevilla, no me ha dejado.

La despedida

The word la despedida literally translates to farewell or goodbye, but in Spain, it's not just a word but more of a cultural practice. Spaniards tend to take forever to complete it; for example, phone conversations consist of a good two minutes worth of despedida, and leaving a party starts an hour before you actually leave. So you can imagine what la despedida is like after a year abroad.

Thursday night we had our fiesta final for our program. It was really special and tons of fun. Saying goodbye to some of my professors was so sad. I cried (of course), and that was the beginning of many tears. Yesterday morning I woke up early and went with my roommate Jessica to the airport. Seeing her go was the first time I really believed it was over. I returned to my house, gathered my things, said goodbye to my senora, and left for Grace's house. I'll be staying here until Tuesday. Later on in the day we went to Isla Magica, a theme park in Sevilla. I needed it after the emotional night and morning. We had a blast! Last night we all went out for the final time as a whole group. It was really sad and such an emotional night. Sarah D. was the first to leave (her flight was at 7am this morning). We all got churros on the bridge at 3:30am, and then said goodbye to her. It's going to be a tough next few days...

Update on Feria:
For Feria I decided to cop out on Sevilla and hit the beach. Unfortunately the weather wasn't so beachy, but we had a fun time anyway. I went with my professor Magdalena and her daughter Sara. She has become a little sister to me, and we spent most of the week together. On Thursday we came back to Sevilla and spent Friday together at Feria. It was packed and very noisy, so I'm glad I wasn't at my house the whole week. While at the beach, Magdalena, Sara and I played games, took long walks on the beach and really bonded. We went to mass at the local church - stunningly beautiful. Magdalena has been such an important part of my year here; it's going to make it really hard to be away from her in the future. I'm really going to miss her a lot.

End of classes:
My classes all ended pretty well for the most part. I started my final papers ahead of time so I wasn't too stressed out. In case you want to know the topics:
Contemporary Literature: "Fue una lucha feroz." (Analysis of a scene of sexual violence in "La familia de Pascual Duarte")
Novela y Cine: Los Santos Inocentes - Translating the novel to the screen
Social Justice: Representation of Moroccans in Spanish Media

Plans for the next week and a half:
Leave Tuesday for England. My aunt Christine is picking me up and I'll be staying at her house in the English countryside for a few days. Then I leave on Friday for Mt. Holyoke. It's graduation weekend, so I am going to say goodbye to all the seniors. I'll eventually be home on Sunday night, May 24th.

Semana Santa: Sevilla and Italy

Semana Santa has come and gone, meaning that I have three weeks left of classes and another week-long break. I can't even begin to understand how the time has gone by so fast!

Since I knew I was only going to be in Sevilla for the first day of Semana Santa I decided to make the most of it: ten hours in the streets watching the pasos. It was very impressing! I had seen photos and even videos of it beforehand, but there is nothing like being there amongst the people watching the huge pasos being carried past you. The nazarenos were surprisingly not as scary as I thought they were going to be. They wear robes and tall pointed hoods that cover their faces; some are all white, some all black, some white with purple or blue or green or red. The ones in all white look a lot like the KKK, so it's a bit creepy at first. As a sidenote: the KKK stole their outfits from the nazarenos. The nazarenos have candy that they give to the children who ask for it, singing, "Nazareno, dame un caramelo" (Nazarene, give me a candy).

Later on that night I took the bus from Sevilla to Madrid, and then flew from there to Milan. Took a bus, and then the train, and eventually arrived in Pavia. My cousin Valentina met me at the train station. We went to her apartment to eat and then went for a walk around Pavia. It was such a nice change from the hectic crowds of Sevilla. The Università di Pavia was beautiful. It’s a pretty large university; Valentina is studying medicine there. In the afternoon I took a nap; turns out it would be the beginning of a pretty bad cold with a fever – I’m still sick! Ugh! The next day I went to Sanremo on the train. Valentina’s brother, Alberto picked me up and we went to the house to eat. It was so great to be back with Monica and Giuseppe; I love my family!! The next morning Alberto and I went around Bordighera and Sanremo. We also met up with another cousin, Tommaso, for lunch. Later in the afternoon Monica and I went to Dolceacqua, a little tiny town tucked away in the hills. The town consists of steep little streets and buildings that have arches between them to hold them up during earthquakes. It’s a quaint little place, and it feels like you’ve stepped back in time. It was a perfect way to spend the afternoon. Thursday I headed back to Milan; I spent the night there and saw more family, Elisabetta, Giuseppe, and Federica. Friday morning I flew back to Madrid and took the bus to Sevilla.

Tomorrow I am going back to Cordoba to see a professor from Mt. Holyoke who is home for sabbatical. After that I have a week of school, and then it will be Feria. I am going to the beach for a few days and hopefully Trisha is coming to visit for the last weekend. Two weeks of school after that, then the trip home. I can’t believe how fast it has flown by!!

Classes, trips, and more!

We're in the midst of midterms here in Sevilla. Thankfully the weather is beautiful, so it makes up for it. My classes are going well for the most part.

Contemporary Spanish Literature: I love this class!!! My professor is amazing and I really am enjoying the books we're reading. We read 'San Manuel Bueno, martir' by Miguel de Unamuno and I think it might be one of my favorite books. I read it not once, not twice, but three times!! That's a first for me... I never read books more than once, but this one was great!

Novel and Cinema: At first I was feeling a bit iffy about this class, but now I am enjoying it more. I think because I have such an extensive background now in literature (I have taken a dozen literature classes in college!!) It's interesting to see how the written works are translated onto the screen. The class also gives me a chance to familiarize myself a bit more with Spanish film.

Contemporary Latin American Poetry: Thanks to my poetry class I am really starting to understand poetry at a different level. Before I felt kind of apathetic about poetry, but it's actually really interesting! We've just finished Cesar Vallejo, but the poet I am most excited about is Nicolas Guillen. I think that's on schedule for the last week of March... We'll see.

Social Justice and Community Service Practicum: As part of this class I have to do work in the community; I am tutoring at a school in the ghetto of Sevilla, Poligono Sur. The students are mostly gitanos so it's a good experience to work directly with the main marginalized community. I'm tutoring in English, and it's really fun! The kids are about twelve and thirteen years old. They are super eager to learn and love to hear me talk. It's a very rewarding experience and reminds me why I am gettin my teacher's licensure. Many times when we study theory I forget about the joy of working with children.

Methodology of Teaching Spanish as a Foreign Language: This is my least favorite class, but it is interesting sometimes to see the theory behind the foreign language classes I had in middle school and high school.

In January a girl named Marta from Triana, Sevilla went missing. Three weeks after she disappeared her ex-boyfriend confessed to killing her. They have been looking for her body ever since, and it's a huge deal here in Spain, but in Sevilla in particular. One of my professors offered us an opportunity to volunteer with the group 'Todos Somos Marta', which is trying to change the law to be tougher on criminals. We went last Friday and worked at a table to collect signatures. Hundreds of people are signing to change the law, so hopefully it will actually happen. While working my professor brought two men over to our table. They looked familiar and then I realized why: it was Marta's dad and uncle. It was very powerful to meet them, although I had no idea what to say to them. I feel so badly for the family, and all they want to do is recover her body and bring this boy to justice.

A friend from Mt. Holyoke who studied in Sevilla last year is visiting this week. I had a chance to spend some time with her yesterday and we're going to go out tonight. It's so nice having someone from home here! I wish you could all come...

I have a few trips planned for the coming weeks... I'm traveling almost every week until I go home! Crazy, but it'll be worth it. This weekend we have Salamanca with my program. It's a trip for the all-year students only. I'm looking forward to it. Next weekend I am going to Galicia with two friends; Galicia is the region above Portugal. We'll be going to La Coruna and Santiago de Compostela. The next week is Semana Santa, so I am going to Italy to visit my family in Milan and Sanremo. It'll be great to see them! In April I am going to go to Cordoba to visit my professor from Mount Holyoke. And then the last week of April is Feria, and I am thinking of going to Lisbon. Soon enough I will be headed home!

Fewf, that was quite an update! Hope all is well!! :)

Update

Everything here is going pretty well, although I have had the stomach flu (or something like that) for about three weeks. UGH. On top of that it started raining today. I guess Spain needs the rain, but it sure does put a damper on things... Just last week it was about 70 degrees!

I am enjoying Sevilla much more than last semester. My cousin is doing a studying abroad program here as well, and living in Triana. I have been able to spend some time with her and it has been great to catch up. I am liking my classes so far, all five of them. I have been able to get to know a few of my professors quite well, and I get sad thinking that in less than three months I will be leaving them.

On a happier note, I am taking sevillanas classes!! Sevillanas is the type of flamenco that they dance at the Feria. It's really fun, although I am super bad at it. Speaking of Feria, I am sitting at my house looking out right now as the Feria grounds are slowly being transformed from a bunch of cement, to magnificent fair grounds. They are constructing the "door" as I am writing. What a view!

Last weekend was Carnival in Cadiz. Of course I got dressed up for that; I recycled my Halloween costume, and lo and behold, it was a hit again! I can't tell you how many times the Spaniards broke out in their "Yo soy espanol, espanol, espanol!" song.

If you have a moment or two, check out the site for the magazine I wrote for last semester... My article is the one with the Golden Gate Bridge picture... (I think it's number 4)
http://www.ciee.org/masmenos/

News from Mt. Holyoke: Our president, Joanne "JoJo" Creighton is stepping down in June of 2010 after what will be a 15 year presidency. I'm still not too sure what to think of this.
http://www.mtholyoke.edu/offices/comm/pres/president.html
She has brought Mt. Holyoke so far in such a short amount of time, and has truly been an amazing leader. Although I will graduate when she is about ready to step down, her leaving Mt. Holyoke is going to play a huge part in the college's coming years.

I just added a few photos from Winter Break to my flickr account, which you can find on the right side of the screen. Sorry the photos are out of order... There are some from Inauguration and a few from London. I haven't really taken too many pictures yet in Spain.

Hasta luego!

A quick stop in London, and then back to Sevilla

After about six weeks in the States, I headed back to Europe. On Monday, February 3rd I arrived in London to visit Trisha for a few days. It had snowed the day before I got there, so everything was covered in slush - and I thought I had left New England!? Since it was so cold and wet, we went to the movies the first day I got there. The next two days we did some site-seeing with two of Trisha's flatmates, Devon and Ollie. We went to the National Gallery, the National Portrait Gallery, St. Martin-in-the-Fields, the British Library, and the British Museum. We all cooked dinner together the first two nights. The last night we went out to eat after going to see a show. We saw "Avenue Q" and it was hysterical! I quite enjoyed it. It was a great way to spend the last night in London.

On Friday I flew out of Heathrow to Madrid and then on to Sevilla. The flight from Madrid was delayed for a few hours, but I made the best of it. A very nice lady from Sevilla who now lives in Belgium basically adopted me for the remained of the journey and helped figure out what was going on with the delay. It turned out that our flight crew was still in Italy when we were supposed to be leaving, and so Iberia flew an empty plane up from Valencia to Madrid so that they wouldn't have to cancel the flight. They also fed us, which was great. I met a very, very nice older couple from Michigan who are staying in Sevilla for two weeks. We got to chatting (of course, it is me we're talking about) and then decided to go out to dinner in Sevilla. On Saturday night Grace and I met up with Bev and Jim and took them to a local favorite, Coloniales, for tapas. We had a great time! They used to import French wine, so they gave us an entire lesson on wine-tasting and some other great tips. We are hoping to meet up with them again before the leave.

As you have gathered, I made it back to Sevilla in one piece. Classes have started again, and I think I am really going to like all of them. I am taking:

-Novel and Cinema
-Contemporary Spanish Literature
-Social Justice and Community Service Practicum
-Methodology of Teachind Spanish as a Second Language
-Contemporary Latin-American Poetry

I realized how familiar I am with Sevilla now; the city has lost its "Spain" smell. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am in a different country; it just feels as if I am away from home, but no longer foreign. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it is something I have noticed.

The weather here is beautiful. It's about 60 degrees! It feels as if Spring has already arrived. From my house I can see that they are beginning to prepare for feria, a huge festival the last week in April. The building I live in looks out on the grounds where the week-long event will be held. It seems that there is much to look forward to this semester.

Many wishes to you, wherever in the world you might be!

Mt. Holyoke

Now that I have been on campus a few days, I am feeling a lot more relaxed. Today I met with the teacher's licensure program coordinator and she approved a class for me to take in Spain that will count for my licensure: Methodology of Teaching Spanish as a Foreign Language. I'm glad because it will be the one class that is useful for me this semester since I have pretty much finished all my other credits that I need.

I also met with my Spanish professor and we talked about possibly doing a thesis. I was so convinced I was not going to do one, and now it seems like I am set up to start doing research soon! I have two main topics right now, both dealing with gender and power dynamics. The one I am going to try to do is looking at a Spanish short story that is based on a French short story which is based on an Italian short story! (Fewf, that's a lot to handle!) So my research would be in the three languages, truly a Romance Languages and Literature thesis, but the final paper would just be in Spanish. We're looking at about 100 pages. In case that doesn't go anywhere, I am leaving the idea from my seminar last semester on back burner. In that case I would be looking at gendered-violence again, a topic which I find very interesting.

We shall see what happens, but I will be starting to prepare for this during the coming semester, as well as taking five classes in Spain.

Wish me luck.

Return to the Homeland!

It's been a while and I thought I should probably give an update of everything that has been going on the past month and a half....

After twenty-six hours of traveling, I arrived safe and sound back in good ol' Brisbane. I have never been so happy to return to the Bay Area. We flew in over San Francisco and it was a beautiful day. I realized how much I love where I live and how important it is to me. It was great to see all my family and friends again. I even got a chance to see Hannah Waen, a friend from Mt. Holyoke, a few times. My neighbor, Hannah Williams, and I spent quite a bit of time together. On Christmas morning we kept our ritual alive and visited each other's homes and families. It was a nice reminder of the community and all the I had left behind when I left for Spain. A few days after Christmas my professor came to San Francisco for the MLA Conference; we went out for coffee and walked around the city a bit. It was so nice to see her. I often feel very torn, due to living two lives, one in Brisbane and one in Massachusetts, and when there is a time when those two worlds can meet, I feel whole. It was great to be able to have that once again.

After a month at home with family and loved ones, I sadly packed my bags again. I was dreading leaving this time, not wanting to return to Spain. On January 15th I took off for Mt. Holyoke. As we pulled up to campus I felt that I was home again; returning to this other home has brought me great joy. I had missed it so, so much; even the seven degree weather was oddly comforting. I walked around campus feeling like for once I was in the right place; this is where I am supposed to be. The buildings stand out against the white snow, giving the campus a pristine look. I walked into the library and the familiar smell of it made me smile. I headed over to the new dorm; it's beautiful. It still feels a bit hotel like in the inside, but it is a truly magnificent building. I ran into a few friends whom I thought I was not going to see until September, which was a great surprise.

At six o'clock, Ashley, Stefan, Emily and I packed up our things and hit the road to Washington DC. We arrived around two in the morning at our friend's house in Virginia. Saturday we went into DC and did some touristy things. On Sunday we went to the "We Are One" concert, which was the highlight of the weekend. The line-up was amazing, and everyone was in high spirits. We stood amongst 600,000 people looking towards the steps of the Lincoln Memorial while star after star appeared on the stage to perform and speak. President Obama and Vice President Biden both spoke, while their families watched from the front row. It was truly an amazing experience and moved me quite a bit.

Monday was the National Day of Service in honor of Martin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday. My aunt Beth and I went to RFK Stadium to make care packages for the soldiers serving across the globe. It was so well organized and tons of fun. There were thousands of volunteers at just this event! It made me so happy to see people of every kind gathering together for a common good. In the midst of all the work, cheers erupted as First Lady Michelle Obama arrived at the event. We were able to get a few photos of her, and were about twenty feet away from her!! She stayed to help out for about an hour or so, which was really great. Also attending the event was President Obama's step-grandmother. I snapped a photo of her as well. The service event was probably one of the best moments of the weekend. It was so fun and exciting, and the fact that Michelle was there really topped it off.

Tuesday was the big day: the Inauguration of the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama. We left around 7:30am and eventually got to the Mall at about 10:40am. It was hectic getting in, but so worth it. Beth and I did not have tickets, which ended up being the better option. We stood on the side of the Mall between the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial, with a clear view of the White House. It was so awesome because we could see the moving trucks outside getting ready to move all of Bush's stuff out and President Obama's stuff in. We had a clear view of a megatron and could hear just fine. It was a great day in American history. After the ceremony we eventually went back to Virginia. We left around 6:45pm and arrived at Mount Holyoke around 2:30am. We were exhausted, but it was well worth it.

Yesterday I met with Anita, the Catholic Chaplin, and we talked for almost four hours! It was great to catch up on everything this past semester. We went to lunch in Prospect, and I pleasantly discovered that my OneCard works - free food!! I have been craving Mt. Holyoke food since I arrived in Spain, so it's really nice to be able to eat here again. You really don't realize how great it is and how much you miss it until you have to eat only one type of food every single day for four months. My goal is to have a different item every day while I am here.

As a sidenote, Skype just might be one of the best things ever created. It's amazing how you can be on the other side of the world from your close friends, and yet feel as if you are sitting in the same room. I was able to talk to the Nash twins, Julia and Claire today for about an hour and it was great! Mount Holyoke feels complete after seeing them on my computer screen while sitting on Ashley's couch in Mead. I also talked to Grace, who is still in Sevilla, and she gave me an update on everything there. It's so nice to have an opportunity to speak with friends. :)

Well, that's about all for now. I will try to put up pictures from Inauguaration, although I am sure you have all seen plenty by now. Much love to everyone, wherever in the world you are. My thoughts are with you.

Love always,
Emmalie