NO8DO: No me ha dejado. Sevilla, No TE he dejado

This past weekend I went to Sevilla, where I studied abroad two years ago. The first day felt very odd... To be there, to have lived somewhere and to return... It's as if I held a key to Sevilla (knowing where to go, what to do, how the city functions), but not a key that would unlock a door to home. I was a tourist in a place I once lived in. I stayed at a hostel with people who had never been to Spain before. I ran into CIEE students who have no idea what this year has in store for them, who still had these crazy notions about Sevilla, who hadn't yet realized the complexity of the place. They are still in their honeymoon stage, idealizing every moment, telling me unrealistic goals they have for this semester or year. I walked down Calle Asunción, which is now pedestrian only, and at first felt out of place, but soon felt like I had never left. I went to visit my host mom and she answered the door in her bathroom and her hair half done. Some things never change, I guess.

Me and my friend Caitlin in front of the Triana Bridge.
We studied abroad together 2008-2009 and now she is living in Sevilla
while doing the same program as I am doing in a high school in Jaen.

I was able to get breakfast with Maria Jose, one of my professors with whom I have kept in contact. She was excited to see me, and we talked about my senior year of college, plans for the future, and current situation in Fuengirola. I was also able to visit the Palacio where I used to go to school and see all the people who work there. It was so wonderful to visit with them. While speaking with them I realized how much I missed Sevilla and how much it felt so normal and natural for me to walk around the streets. Sure the people have changed a bit, there are new stores and restaurants, but that's just the evolution and life of a city. Just like any place. The whole weekend I started to feel as if I was unlucky to be in Fuengirola, and how much I would have preferred to live in Sevilla... But upon my return to Fuengirola, I felt a sense of going home, to a place I belonged in at this moment. I was once a part of Sevilla, but that is not where I am supposed to be right now. I can visit on the weekends, remember it fondly, but being in Fuengirola is almost redeeming all the aspects of Sevilla I didn't like... It seems silly, but during my year there I seemed to at sometimes be lost and almost in pain from the lack of diversity in the city. We always talk about what a multicultural Spain would look like, whose faces would we see, what languages would we hear, what food would we eat... Well, here it is! This is it. That's not to say it's perfect or functions well, but Fuengirola is what we have been talking about. It's a total cultural mess, but at the same time that's what makes it beautiful.